Wrapping Up

This entire Guatemala experience has been one that is challenging in a lot of ways. I needed to let go of my suppositions about how people should live, the pace of progress, how much one person can accomplish, and the best way to help people.

So, I’ve been a little homesick the last few days. I have more mosquito bites than I care to count and they keep coming. I’m tired of shooing bugs in the bathroom and shower. And more than anything, I miss people in the United States.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I’m doing when I come back to the States. I think about what foods I will eat, how long my first shower will be, and washing my clothes in a machine with hot water. I think about using an indoor bathroom that I don’t have to shoo mosquitoes while I’m doing my business. I also think about all the clothes I left in NYC and how I have to throw out some of the stuff I have with me.

I have been having trouble with these emotions though. On one hand, it’s perfectly normal to miss home. On the other, I feel a little like a spoiled brat because I’m “roughing” it and don’t want to anymore. The fact is, that for most of the families we work with, my version of “roughing” is nothing compared to their lives.


Maybe I’m a spoiled brat. Maybe I’m not cut out for development work in the Third World. But, this experience has helped me appreciate the conveniences that I enjoy.

Perhaps, it is just that I know that this is temporary. The people who live here don’t see these things as inconveniences, but the way things are. They don’t know what its like to live a life that is different.

Folks here slaughter their own meat (chicken, ducks, etc), grow their own beans and corn, and other vegetables. In that sense, the small town feel is something that I like. I like being able to purchase produce direct from farmers. I like knowing that my purchase goes directly into the hands of the people who grew the plant, tended their land, and harvested it. I also like supporting small independent farmers, when the growing trend, even in Guatemala, is to shop at mega supermarkets.

Even though it’s a pain in the neck sometimes, I like that I’m living in the same town as the farmers. Unlike others, I’m not living in the city and coming to the town to work. I like that we’re viewed as a resource here—that families ask us questions they might not ask others. I appreciate that folks in Filiberto’s family have gotten so comfortable with us that, the other day, Filiberto’s daughter Marta whipped out her boob and started breastfeeding in front of us.

All that said, I think that my experience has been well worth the trip. I’m still going to be happy to come back to the States. I expect that some things, like shopping at farmer’s markets instead of mega stores, will be easy to continue at home. There are other things that will be very difficult to continue in New York. My neighbors are not going to come to me to help with their English, teach me to make tortillas, or tell me their stories. I won’t be able to round up neighborhood girls for soccer on Sunday afternoons.

So, as I continue to wrap things up this week, I’m going to be thinking about how grateful I am that I got to spend quality time here.